How many pianists does it take to change a light bulb?

There are lots of funny “musician” jokes going around, usually told by one group of instrumentalists or vocalists at the expense of another. (Violinists tell violist jokes, violists tell violinist jokes, etc.)

Here’s one I’ve often heard at gigs:

Question: “How do you get a guitarist to turn down his amp?”
Answer: “Put sheet music in front of him!”

A little unfair, perhaps, but also with an element of truth since many guitarists play too loudly and many are “ear” players who don’t read music well.
(Note to guitarists: Hey, I didn’t make this up!!!)

But I’ve never heard any piano jokes and sometimes wonder why this is so. Are there really no good jokes about pianists? Or maybe nobody’s told me any since I am in fact a pianist.

I remember hanging out backstage before a concert once. I had assembled a wonderful band to play dance music for a fundraiser at New York City’s Waldorf Astoria hotel. I heard the musicians good-naturedly telling some of these jokes about one another so out of curiosity I asked, “Why aren’t there any pianist jokes.” One of the musicians paused for a moment, thought about it, and replied, “I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because you’re all nerds.”

Nerd or not, I’m still wondering where all the pianist jokes are. If you know any good ones, please share them in the comments section below. Or maybe we can start by making up our own. What’s your answer to the question “How many pianists does it take to change a light bulb?”

Here’s something I wrote about When should your child start piano lessons? I’d be interested to know what you think.

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